soup of thoughts swirling around,
morphing, shape-shifting into something;
something I’d never before imagined,
never before dreamed.
Grab your thoughts and throw them up in the air,
watch them as they glide.
If they come crashing back down,
don’t give up.
If you try and try,
one day they might fly…
clambering up the icy slope, out in the open,
we need to hope:
hope we reach the summit,
some day, any way.
wind gusts hard, threatens to blow us off,
but we battle on, towards thee top,
where does it end, we don’t know,
those who get there, to heaven go,
forever in the clouds, pages they turn,
those that fall off, some say that they burn,
is it really the end, or a point of no return.
It doesn’t matter for we will keep going;
and for the sky we yearn…
Your face lights up when you talk,
so many experiences lived, emotions felt,
sometimes I see that twinkle in your eye,
that brief flicker of movement, semi controlled.
I connect with it, knowing that it cant directly connect with the eye of mine,
but somehow you know I’m engaged, listening close.
Words of wisdom and experience, a life seemingly spent in thought;
what else can occupy the mind without vision.
I never knew about your spirituality, you never directly told me,
it must have been profound.
You talked of a love of science, without coldness but wonder,
wonder at the natural world you connected with through touch and sound,
you seemed to know something about the world that others didn’t,
somehow engaged but unattached;
knowing the value of money and hard work whilst maintaining a non materialistic philosophy,
If I had one goal in life it would be to live in the head space I saw you enjoy in your last years,
I know in my heart you saw the world like know one else I have met,
you saw deep into the true nature of things, past conventional reality, deep into your mind.
give me space to breathe, I’m on my knees now
got to get the feeling out somehow
burning, deep down inside, melt my heart away
escape to a pen and paper, any day
my deepest secrets revealed, brighter ideas be
I write to get it all out,
I write to flee,
when I write just for me,
I write to be free.
pounding heart, cold sweat
legs limp, head not feeling too
but little time left
darkness closes over,
peaked over the edge and saw
there is no light on the other side just
blackness, now but too soon,
what stopped me from fading to black,
what brought me back,
a brief idea, clear in time, a spark in the back of my head
almost stopped ticking now kicking legs straighten,
body numb now, cold sweat heart still,
but at least pumping.