washed away into the mind,
washed away back in time,
wash away the summer dream,
welcome to the winter stream,
Your face lights up when you talk,
so many experiences lived, emotions felt,
sometimes I see that twinkle in your eye,
that brief flicker of movement, semi controlled.
I connect with it, knowing that it cant directly connect with the eye of mine,
but somehow you know I’m engaged, listening close.
Words of wisdom and experience, a life seemingly spent in thought;
what else can occupy the mind without vision.
I never knew about your spirituality, you never directly told me,
it must have been profound.
You talked of a love of science, without coldness but wonder,
wonder at the natural world you connected with through touch and sound,
you seemed to know something about the world that others didn’t,
somehow engaged but unattached;
knowing the value of money and hard work whilst maintaining a non materialistic philosophy,
If I had one goal in life it would be to live in the head space I saw you enjoy in your last years,
I know in my heart you saw the world like know one else I have met,
you saw deep into the true nature of things, past conventional reality, deep into your mind.
give me space to breathe, I’m on my knees now
got to get the feeling out somehow
burning, deep down inside, melt my heart away
escape to a pen and paper, any day
my deepest secrets revealed, brighter ideas be
I write to get it all out,
I write to flee,
when I write just for me,
I write to be free.
pounding heart, cold sweat
legs limp, head not feeling too
but little time left
darkness closes over,
peaked over the edge and saw
there is no light on the other side just
blackness, now but too soon,
what stopped me from fading to black,
what brought me back,
a brief idea, clear in time, a spark in the back of my head
almost stopped ticking now kicking legs straighten,
body numb now, cold sweat heart still,
but at least pumping.
Rushing and hurrying around,
like a school of fish lacking direction, no common purpose,
all fighting to be themselves in a world of
stand out from the crowd,
no greater good, no higher goal
fight to be noticed, fight to contribute, fight to survive,
fight till the end,
battle on fight on,
pushing for change, never content,
fighting for the life others will resent.
New life sprouts from your singed skin, you
look as though you might fall any moment, or live for a thousand years.
while others stand tall and straight in line,
reaching for the sky, you twist and turn
where will you branch out too next, where will you go
one cant know.
at least you are you, at least you are new,
I see you there delineated as me, the twisted tree;
firmly planted but forever free…